Or, er, the multiple people.Īnna, 26, a fashion designer found her confidence 'destroyed' when she opened up to a guy she’d met on Tinder. Whether we’re talking about a traumatic life event or sending someone photos of your boobs, it might be better to keep things a bit more secret until you’re sure you can trust the person you’re chatting to. While messaging late into into the night with someone from Tinder, or someone you kissed at a house party can be exciting - it also leave you open to revealing things you might normally keep private in a relationship until trust has been properly established. WhatsApp and other instant messengers can throw a spanner in the works when it comes to opening up too quickly to potential dates. It might be time to put that phone down and start actually chatting to that guy at the pub. There might be plenty of fish in the WhatsApp sea - but they’re all going to start tasting the same if you’re eating them day in, day out.
'While you might view messaging multiple people as not putting all your eggs in one basket, it could actually be damaging, and could be stopping you from forming actual close bonds with one significant person.'
Yep whatsapp how to#
And when you try to break the habit and form a proper relationship, you may have forgotten how to redirect your messaging in a way that involves significance. 'This is damaging to a degree, psychologically,' she says. It’s a comfort blanket thing, says behavioural psychologist Jo Hemmings. You might be on the sofa on Friday night feeling like a massive single loser, but a few WhatsApps and you’ve got instant attention - even if you have no actual intention of meeting up with any of them. Or the one you know will always be awake at 1am when you’re drunk and in need of some attention. There’s the funny guy that you message if you’re feeling like you need cheering up. Whether you met them at the pub or, more likely, on Tinder, it’s not uncommon to have a good four or five (or ten, if you’re a pro) “yeah maybes” on your WhatsApp contact list at any one one time. But what a lot of us do do when we’re single (or not so single, if you’re a douche) is message multiple guys or girls at the same time. The answer is a firm NO, unless you’ve got nothing to do all day/have balls of steel and no actual feelings/are actually the female version of Spencer Matthews. **Would you date ten guys at once in real life? ** But when it comes to dating, it could actually be screwing us up - from the initial stages of dating right through to those in long-term relationships. Yep, WhatsApp is generally an easy, fun thing. From Friday night drinkies!! and ‘Megan’s Hen Do’ (the one that’s not happening for another six months, fucksake…), at at least you can mute that shit if needs be. While messaging culture is quick, simple and constantly entertaining, it’s got its obvious downsides - like all the endless groups your friends keeping making, which kill your battery by 11am each day. Yes, these are actual THINGS that used to happen before those dreaded two blue ticks took hold of our lives and refused to let go. Remember those heady days before WhatsApp? Waiting for potential dates to reply on text - and even, gasp - sometimes making phone calls to people, if you really quite liked them.
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